nepali dirty non veg jokes

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nepali dirty non veg jokes

63. Qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend… Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.

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62. Teacher: why are you late?

Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.

Teacher(Angrily): Can’t your dad to it?

Student: No, only BULL can do it…………

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61. I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

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60. A notice in a factory for girl workers.

“If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work” What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job! A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered – waiting for autumn.

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59. A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!

A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there’s a wet pussy, there’s a happy cock

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58. 1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

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57. Sounds women make during sex.

1) Asthmatic – ah.ahh.ah..ah.

2) Obedient – yes.yes..yes.

3) Unsatisfied – more. more…more.

4) Religious – oh god. oh god.

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56. Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

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55. Why do 90% of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
) (

( .)( . )

) (
because….
90% of the

boys are

right handed..

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54. In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another

“I slept wid ur mom last nite”

D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy’s response.

He laughs & says, “Lets go home dad, U r drunk”

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53. When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to…

VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking.

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52. Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?….

Because, he drinks 2 litre of milk daily.

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51. Boy (to girl): What’s there in between your legs?

Girl: Hell! And what’s there in between your legs?

Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

Girl & Boy were having sex.

Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!

Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?

Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.

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50. Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?

Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.

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49. An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?

Mallika: I go back to my home!

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48. Colour of underwear reflects your mood:

Red – Wild,

Black – Sexy,

Blue – Romantic,

Pink – Seductive

White – Calm,

Yellow – time to change your undrewear!

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47. A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, “Dentist caught filling wrong cavity”.

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46. Wives r incoming calls,

Lovers r outgoing calls,

Aunties r Toll-free calls,

Callgirls r Roaming calls,

Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

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45. It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?

Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

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44. .Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She’ll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u’ll hv a child on children`s day. Don’t try this on everybody. U’ll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)

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43. Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?

A: A computer doesn’t laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.

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42. Met a girl the other day that has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It’s amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun?

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41. Q: Whats the difference between magnets and women

A: magnets have a positive side

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