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The 15 Most Accurate Facts About Lesbians Ever

1. It is never a good idea to ask someone to marry you before the first date.

2. This also applies to the Internet. Double.

3. Half your age plus seven. That’s the youngest you can date without a double take. Ex: You’re 30, half your age = 15, plus 7 = 22.

4. The average interval between lesbian relationships is minus three point five minutes.

5. The average lesbian date lasts approximately three years.

6. You never want to be “rebound girl” (RG)- the rule is a minimum of one week singledom for every month they were their ex.
Any less, and you have a strong potential for being RG.

7. I love you is not a question.

8. Femmes look like femmes even in men’s suits.

9. Ditto Tuxedos

10. Piercing your tongue is a lesbian contradiction in terms.

11. It is much cheaper to say, “No, thank you, I have to milk the bison this weekend” now than it is to break up later. It is not, however easier.

12. Any friend in need of being “fixed-up” is way too broken to be ready to date.

13. The term “Lesbian Therapist” is redundant.

14. Life is a process. Lesbian Life is the process of processing the process.

15. After six months, all lesbian couples walk alike. It’s a law.